我们的梦想 [转]insani英文网站上面关于Narcissu的文章

wolflance - 2007/7/13 11:00:00

似乎是说到关于水仙设定上的一些错误。我虽然看懂了大部分，但是有些还是不太明白。召唤达人翻译。

A Word Of Warning
If you do not wish to be spoiled on certain details of the piece, it would be best for you not to read this document until you have finished reading Narcissu at least once.

4. Errata

4.1 Setsumi's illness

Setsumi's illness is a mystery; not enough information is given to firmly influence the reader to one diagnosis or another, but a few of the more likely diagnoses -- congenital cardiac anomaly, hematogenous malignancy of childhood, cystic fibrosis, systemic lupus erythematosus -- are given above.
The fact that she has hair that long would tend to speak against someone with a malignancy; the fact that she has large postsurgical scars that are fairly new in origin (surgery for the repair of a congenital cardiac anomaly would happen very early in life) would tend to speak against a congenital cardiac anomaly; the fact that she looks thin and frail would tend to speak against systemic lupus erythematosus. Therefore, among the differential diagnoses mentioned above, it is probable that Setsumi suffers from an intractable cystic fibrosis, had lung transplantation fairly early on, and did better than anyone could have expected with it.
Even so, this is a fairly shaky diagnosis, even on the best of days.

4.2 The protagonist's illness

No argument here -- the protagonist suffers from a relentless non-small-cell lung carcinoma. He is status post partial pneumonectomy (which as done with the intention to cure the cancer), but his cancer has metastasized. He was put on Iressa, but it did not do very much good for him. And now here he is, devoid of any other treatment options.
There is only one very concerning thing here, and that is the fact that this young man is 20 years old. It is vanishingly rare that someone of this age would have any kind of cancer at all, let alone a non-small-cell lung carcinoma. However, as noted above, such cases do happen -- they just happen to be about as common as hens' teeth.

4.3 The portrayal of Hospice

Whether intentionally or unintentionally, Tomo Kataoka paints Hospice in a very negative light in this piece.
First of all, the doctors flat out lie to the protagonist about its purpose -- they tell him at one point that it is a place where unique therapies are tried in order to cure the patient, which could not be further from the truth -- in fact, it is better said that a Hospice ward would be the only place in a hospital where therapies with the intent to cure the patient of a disease were not being instituted.
Second of all, the Hospice ward is portrayed as a cold, empty place with no one in it, patients left to fend for themselves in terms of interests and activities, nothing to do except to watch TV. This could not be further from the truth -- in the Hospice setting the patient is encouraged to engage in as many activities as he or she would like, and is constantly being dragged by nurses and other personnel to these activities.
Finally, the patients on 7F are portrayed as being prisoners of a sort. Again, this is very strange, given that patients on Hospice care are generally allowed to wander anywhere they wish, within limits.
That said, it is quite possible that these attitudes toward Hospice are colored by the narrator's own viewpoint toward the healthcare system. It is entirely possible that he is not reporting accurately on these matters -- and does not care to -- such is his antipathy toward both what is happening to him and the system that has taken over his life.

4.4 Medication regimens

At one point in the piece, the protagonist narrates that he was told that he could go at most two days without his medications -- after that, he would be in trouble. While usually, this kind of statement is very sketchy from a medical standpoint, it might be entirely reasonable given the circumstances Setsumi and the protagonist find themselves in.
In the protagonist's case, the medications he must keep taking are probably various pain medications; without them, he would be in so much pain that he could not function at all. This kind of situation is not uncommon at all among advanced-stage cancer patients.
In Setsumi's case, if she has some kind of autoimmune disease or a disorder like cystic fibrosis, a few days without her anti-inflammatory medications could serve as the trigger for a violent flare of the disease process, which could very well prove fatal if she did not get help in time.
What is somewhat problematic is the way the drugs are dispensed in a certain scene in the work. Any pharmacist would ask to see the prescriptions first; he would not bring medications to the counter first. Also, the kinds of medications that both Setsumi and the protagonist need are generally only found in the pharmacy departments that exist within hospitals, not even in pharmacies that are affiliated with hospitals.

4.5 Strength and its loss

Believe it or not, even a week spent lying in a hospital bed can leave a patient far physically weaker than he was before. This is a mixture of muscle atrophy, emotional imbalance, and lack of sleep.
That said, the very rapid deterioration of strength seen throughout the course of this work are most likely more a result of fatigue than they are due to acceleration of any disease process. After all, it is an exertion to drive around all day, and the diets that Setsumi and the protagonist choose to maintain aren't exactly the most nourishing in the world.

4.6 Nourishment

While it is possible for a patient with end-stage lung carcinoma to survive on a few riceballs and a few sports drinks a day, it is difficult to believe that he could even muster the energy to drive a car for one day without falling asleep on this kind of diet -- let alone for a week straight.

4.7 Final words

When all is said and done, and all the medical inconsistencies present in Narcissu are tallied up, one must remember a few things:
- Tomo Kataoka is not a trained member of any of the medical professions
- That said, he made a valiant effort to at least not get the medical details wrong
- One of the translators who worked on this localization is a 4th-year medical student
- Many of the things that he took issue with are details that anyone without appropriate medical training would not notice
Therefore, I say to you: accept this piece the way it is, medical inconsistencies and all. The spirit of the work is not damaged in the places where it got medical details wrong, and it would be petty to criticize the author for not knowing some of the things that I knew when I translated the piece. So go forth; read Narcissu again with a somewhat more broad understanding of the medical issues involved; but do not raise your voices in criticism against Tomo Kataoka. The only thing he deserves out of you is your wholehearted thanks and praise for having brought this wonderful piece to you.

18 August 2005
Seung Park
4th-year medical student, University of Michigan Medical School

wolflance - 2007/7/13 11:23:00

自己试试~~

4.3 The portrayal of Hospice 临终关怀的描写

不知道是有意还是无意，作者(Tomo Kataoka )把临终关怀描写成一个非常黑暗的地方。

首先，医生骗主角关于临终关怀的目的-他们告诉他这是一个以独特疗法来治疗病患的地方。这是非常不正确的。事实上可以说临终关怀是医院中唯一一个不进行以治疗为目的的疗法的地方。

第二，临终关怀病房被描写成一个冰冷、没有人的地方，病患除了看电视以外没事可做。（ patients left to fend for themselves in terms of interests and activities怎么翻译？我虽然看得懂可是不知道怎样翻译成中文...）这是非常不正确的--临终关怀鼓励病患尽可能参加活动，而且病患也常常被护士或其他人带去参加这类活动。

最后，临终关怀得病患被描述得好像囚犯似的。这也是非常奇怪的，因为临终关怀的病患被准许在一定限制下随便溜达。

也就是说，这些对临终关怀的态度很有可能是讲述者自己对医疗系统的观点。讲述者很有可能并没有准确地讲述这些事请--并且也不想准确地描述--以显示他对发生在他身上的事情以及控制了他的人生的（医疗）系统的反感。
4.4 Medication regimens 服药疗程
在本作中主角有说到他被告知他只最多能在不吃药的情况下坚持两天-之后他就麻烦了。虽然平常这种事情在医学角度来看是非常粗略的，但是在赖津美和主角的情况下这可以是合理的。
对主角而言，他必须服用的药物大概是止痛药之类，没有这些药物他将陷入极大的痛苦当中以至完全不能活动(不知道could not function at all 要怎么准确翻译)。这种情况在末期癌症患者中很常见。
对赖津美而言，如果她有某些自身免役性疾病或者像囊腫性纖維化的病，几天不服用她的抗炎性药物可能导致病情急剧恶化，如果不及时得到帮助的话甚至可能死亡。
问题出在本作某些场景中这些药物的方式。任何药剂師都会在提供药物前都会要求患者出示医疗处方(还是病历？)，而不会先把药物拿到柜台(就是说主角强抢药物的那一幕是不合理的。)。另外，主角和赖津美所需要的药物一般上只能够在医院内的药剂部找到。甚至连和医院有关系的药房都不能买到这些药品。

4.5 Strength and its loss 体力丧失
信不信由你，只要一个星期躺在病床上就足够让一个病患比以前虚弱很多。这是由肌肉萎缩，心理不平衡和缺少睡眠造成的。也就是说，(主角)在本作的旅程中迅速的变得虚弱的原因比较可能是因为疲劳(相对于病情恶化)。
再怎么说他们也是开车一整天，而且他们所选择的饮食也不是世界上最有营养的。

4.6 Nourishment 营养
虽然一个末期肺癌病患是有可能只靠几个饭团和运动饮料过日子，但是很难相信他在这种饮食状况下还能有足够的力气在不睡着的情况下开车一整天-何况是一个星期。

4.7 Final words

When all is said and done, and all the medical inconsistencies present in Narcissu are tallied up, one must remember a few things:
虽然Narcissu有许多的医学上的错误，但是有几件事情必须要记得：
- 作者并不是出身于任何有关医学的职业
- 也就是说，他已经很努力的让至少不让病情资料出错。
- 其中一个（英文版）翻译员是医学系四年生。
- 他注意到的许多事情都是一个没有受过医学训练的人所不会去注意
因此，我告诉你：接受这部作品，不管它是不是有医学上的错误。这部作品的意涵并不会因为这些错误而被破坏，而且因此而批评作者实在是吹毛求疵。所以请在拥有更广阔的医学知识下再读一遍这部作品，而不是批评作者。作者唯一该得到的是你的称赞和感谢。

18 August 2005
Seung Park
4th-year medical student, University of Michigan Medical School

004307ec - 2007/7/13 11:28:00

……写的好长，好详细啊……
真佩服了……
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先警告了一下如果没有读过一遍的话……就不要看……OTL
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然后就是勘误表（Errata）……
然后说“setsumi的病情却是一个谜; 没有足够的信息来牢牢影响读者确定病情，但可能是--先天性心脏疾病,童年血液系统恶性肿瘤,囊性纤维化, 系统性红斑狼疮。”OTL……
然后说她的长发与她患恶性肿瘤相矛盾……OTL……
接下来……“事实上,她有比较新的大的术后疤痕(手术修复先天性心脏畸形应该在很小的时候) ”……果然详细啊……
“她看起来瘦虚弱事实会与系统性红斑狼疮抵触。 ”
“因此,在上述提及的诊断中，setsumi很可能患有难治性囊状纤维化, 有早期肺移植,而且（手术）做得比预想中的好。即使如此,这是一个相当不可靠的推断,即使在最好的情况下.。”

4.2 The protagonist's illness
4.2 主人公的疾病……
没有疑问--主人公遭受了无情的非小细胞肺癌. （？）（这个疾病名好怪……估计是Google翻译错了……）
他状况是后局部肺切除(如做打算治愈癌症) , 但他的癌症已经转移. （累了……翻译不准的地方……用Google的翻译凑合着看吧……）

wolflance的blog进不去啊……

wolflance - 2007/7/13 11:41:00

这只是后面的一部分而已了。....还有一大堆我没有转过来...

多谢帮忙,达人一号出现了...
非小細胞肺癌...我找到的也是这么翻译的...估计就是正确名字了。

我自己点我的blog网址很正常啊？？

004307ec - 2007/7/14 16:20:00

那个……你的Blog我就是点不进去……进去就是BLANK.....orz.....
Medication regimens Google翻译得“服药疗程 ”
could not function at all 就是“无法工作，无法活动之意”
Nourishment 营养品（营养）

Zilch - 2007/7/14 22:54:00

亲娘嘞…………这作者也太牛了……抠的这么仔细……

[BLT]FQX - 2007/7/14 23:02:00

原帖由 004307ec 于 2007-7-14 16:20:00 发表
那个……你的Blog我就是点不进去……进去就是BLANK.....orz.....

Blogspot当然打不开，要用 http://pkblogs.com/lafiaba

wolflance - 2007/7/15 19:38:00

原帖由 Zilch 于 2007-7-14 22:54:00 发表
亲娘嘞…………这作者也太牛了……抠的这么仔细……

没办法，其中一个英文版的翻译人员是医学系的四年纪生(现在该毕业了...)当然很牛。

原帖由 [BLT]FQX 于 2007-7-14 23:02:00 发表

Blogspot当然打不开，要用 http://pkblogs.com/lafiaba

多谢，我会立刻去换的。

影→恺撒代价 - 2007/7/15 19:56:00

恩....怎么说呢,解析得那么清楚反而没有什么感觉哪....

004307ec - 2007/7/16 13:42:00

经实践证明,link'正常了....

02503109 - 2007/7/17 11:23:00

牛,回家去拿翻译软件.去刷几遍!:P

wolflance - 2007/7/17 20:33:00

更新了一点点~~

about123 - 2009/6/14 15:16:00

其实治疗用药那边，即使是没甚么医疗常识的人都应该会知道，药剂师一定会先要处方的，我觉得这部份比较是倾向剧情需要而这么设定的。在看完小说版后我就更确定这一点，与原作游戏不同小说版的阿东优没有偷药成功，理由上没成功的话理应也没必要照原作的流程先去药局一趟，我觉得这是出于剧情需要，说明他们想要到目的地的决心和意志。
而至于睡眠那边，应该只是原著没特别提到或略略带过而已，他们应该不是每天都通宵行驶的，这边在小说版中有交代到（还特别提到濑津美的睡相很差（汗））。

chengxu - 2009/6/15 11:31:00

好牛的解析~~现代的福尔摩斯吗???

chengxu - 2009/6/15 11:34:00

could not function at all

chengxu - 2009/6/15 11:40:00

偶还没打完就按到发表了～～:miffy2:
could not function at all 可以翻译为不能完全地独立活动吧～～
请达人决定～
偶四级还没过呐～

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