XXAkardoXX - 2011/7/18 15:13:00
以下是吾明天英语口试的文章，希望大家能多多帮忙修改错误。
（别怨文短，只是个2分钟的口试）
A very good morning to all. I am here to discuss about ''The Benefits of Group Discussion''
Firstly,group discussion helps improve our study. Since most of the student are shy to ask their question directly in the class,group discussion provides students a chance to seek help with their problems in their study.
Secondly,joining a group discussion strengthen the relationship between we and our friends. We are actually interacting with them as we help each other or solve problems together. Eventually,our social skill will also improve and this will be a great help for us in the future.
Lastly,forming a group discussion is a good way to spend our free time. This will cover us from the risk of getting involve in unhealthy activities such as illegal racing and wondering around hypermarkets and cybercafes.
This marks the end of my speech. Thanks.
这几天为了口试彻夜难眠，希望各位同志多多帮忙，让吾摆脱这烦人的束缚，继续沉迷于KEY的神作中。^^
水羊 - 2011/7/18 15:17:00
求助請發牡丹林
這帖我移到牡丹林
然後，我英文水平不好
很抱歉無法幫你 OTL
Miyazakehime - 2011/7/18 17:30:00
楼主文章写得真不错呀，我虽然不会写演讲稿之类的，但还是受过修改训练（应试），不知是不是打字时粗心，只犯了一些很小的错误
1.most of the students
2.seek help with(建议用to) their problems，楼主是根据“help sb with sth ”而来的吧，不过这里介词应和谓语动词一致，毕竟seek有专门的介词搭配
*seeking (for) solutions to current problems
寻找对目前问题的解决办法
3.our social skills will also improve
4.the risk of getting involved in unhealthy
5.cover us from the risk of getting involve in unhealthy activities ，“降低卷入不良活动的风险”？
risk一般用得比较严肃risk常常是冒着实质性的、较大的（经常是关于投资或者牵涉身体上损伤）的险，“违章行驶”还说的过去，但是我可不觉得逛商场是什么坏事呀。
例如 risk defeat/death risk being seen/caught/arrested etc。
楼主这样，其实没什么特别的错，建议就用普通说法：keep us away from unhealthy activities ，“使我们远离不良行为”
laputachen - 2011/7/18 17:37:00
A very good morning to all. I am here to discuss about ''The Benefits of Group Discussion''
Hi everyone, I’m here to share with you my view on “the benefits of group discussion”.
开场简洁直接，没必要玩花样。这演讲是你一个人讲，不是跟人“discuss”
Firstly, group discussion helps improve our study. Since most of the student are shy to ask their question directly in the class,group discussion provides students a chance to seek help with their problems in their study.
Group discussion is a very efficient mode of after-class study. Firstly, it provides a valuable chance for students to share questions and answers. Most Chinese students are quite shy to directly ask questions during the lecture, but group discussion provides a relatively relaxing environment to let them talk and help each other.
演讲的开始，需要给题目group discussion给与定义或总结。即使这并不是专业名词，也需要根据你演讲的内容总结一下这个词的意义。要点表述讲究straight to the point，“helps improve our study”过于笼统。中文思维从笼统讲到具体，英文演讲讲究第一句就把具体问题指出总结。
Secondly, joining a group discussion strengthen the relationship between we and our friends. We are actually interacting with them as we help each other or solve problems together. Eventually,our social skill will also improve and this will be a great help for us in the future.
Secondly, group discussion strengthens the relationship between classmates. Through discussion, classmates interact, help and work with each other towards a unified goal of solving problems. This process facilities team building and improves their social and communication skills.
要点不错。“joining”为多余，”between we (us) and our friends”可简化为classmates， “this will be a great help for us in the future”的引申不够具体，可以去掉。
Lastly, forming a group discussion is a good way to spend our free time. This will cover us from the risk of getting involve in unhealthy activities such as illegal racing and wondering around hypermarkets and cybercafes.
Finally, group discussion is a healthy way to spend after-class hours. The group provides an atmosphere and motivation for keeping students’ attention on studying. Otherwise, there is a considerable risk that they might waste too much time on the internet and games.
要点不错。表述逻辑上可更清晰的说明，为什么group可以防止学生去泡网吧。这演讲很简短，要点的例子不要举太多太长。
This marks the end of my speech. Thanks.
To conclude, students should always join a discussion group. That’s all. Thanks.
This marks the end of my speech没有提供任何信息，在简短演讲中没必要用这种没信息的话拖时间。即使很短，conclusion或者建议还是要给一个，才有头有尾。最后简洁的结束，也没必要玩花样。
最后做个小广告，本人无聊蛋疼时兼职修改英文论文、演讲稿、PPT等，英语专业八级，雅思7.5，GMAT760，修改后可显著提高你的分数。
XXAkardoXX - 2011/7/18 20:29:00
多谢，帮大忙了，这样一来文章就完成了，明日安心上阵。。。
在此也感谢一下Miyazakehime的修改。。